Fear and Loathing on the Learning Curve: Observations on Life, Tech and Web Design from a Slightly Misanthropic Mind

Thank You, Facebook

For allow­ing me to be spoon-fed my opin­ions via a invit­a­tion sys­tem where I can be bom­barded daily with appeals from parties right, left and centre want­ing to induct me into their neatly com­part­ment­al­ised mind­set. For mak­ing it so easy for people who think I might be vaguely inter­ested in sup­port­ing their beliefs to invite me, along with whatever other unfor­tu­nate souls hap­pen to be con­nec­ted to them, to join their I-wear-my-opinons-on-my-sleeve Facebook Group, because remem­ber: if you said it on Facebook, It Can Really Make a Difference.

A Three-Step Plan for Facebook Groups
1. Get to know me first, so you have some vague idea as to my beliefs and opin­ions. Want to know what I think? Ask me.
2. Don’t bother invit­ing me any­way. Unless your Group is incred­ibly witty, chances are I’m not inter­ested. My join­ing a Facebook Group is not going to influ­ence who becomes the next US President; it is not going to stop war in the Middle East, and it sure as fuck isn’t going to resolve the cur­rent AUT strike.
3. Should I — for some unima­gin­able reason — decline your invit­a­tion, have a guess at what the most annoy­ing thing you could do would be. That’s right, invit­ing me again. Please die.

For those unsure who this applies to, fol­low this simple test: Are you con­tent to select your polit­ical stance from a drop-down list of eight options? If you answered Yes, you have a career wait­ing for you as a Facebook Group spammer.

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